So about last January I joined a gym. I'd been "thinking about" exercise for a super long time but in general I considered my motivations clouded by vanity and pride. I was sort of concerned about my long term health but that thought was always over shadowed by this impulse to be sexy. I am pretty sure if I were considered unbelievably attractive to women I wouldn't do much with it because with some believably good looks, a degree of charm and a certain kind of confidence I still do not have sharp teeth, so to speak. It is kind of like why I am not tempted by fast cars; my Honda is fast enough and if anything I ought to be slowing down. But that generally held personality did not prevent all kinds of static like influences. I still am partly a product of main stream America so there is an ingrained thought "muscle, sexy, good."
So I never joined a gym or worked out.
But Nate did. So when he kept doing it and invited me it felt more like a way to connect with a buddy and get healthy and it was an inexpensive gym (huge factor).
So I worked out with Nate and sometimes Jesse and Adam Richman.
To best summarize the positive change is described late on most Sunday nights. I will be driving back to Fremont taking Bev back to her Dad's house from Oakland. She invariably passes out. I would pick her up and carry her inside. Before hand I would think "Pretty soon Bev will be too old for me to do this." But I hadn't given her a ride home in a while after working out and the first time I lifted her it was amazing. That was after just a month.
What I have found that an increased real and perceived strength also increases my sense of manhood. Granted masculinity is a troubled concept, either in short supply or else exaggerated to peversity, but I have found in my walk with God that it is something which is a part of His creation. Manhood is something shaped by social construction but it is also a real thing, with a Godly purpose.
Now increasing and strengthening this virtue does have dangers... just like increasing education or horse-power has dangers. I am depending on the Holy Spirit and good friends that my interest in growing stronger does not ever exceed my interest in becoming holy.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Dexter and Jonathan
So one cool part of house sitting for Gramps is that I can keep up with Season 3 of Dexter on On-Demand.
I was introduced to the show by Jonathon. I liked it but I think that Jonathon and I have very much different interpretations of the show based upon our lives. I see the whole serial-killer thing as less than secondary the main thrust of the show and why it is successful is because the character Dexter is going through the kinds of things that are completely normal for a guy: compartmentalization, trust issues, the emotions of women. Jonathon seems to focus on the alienation that Dexter feels as if it were something particular to a small set of special people: serial killers and other moody loners.
I don't think there is any way to convince him that aside from killing people Dexter is a completely normal person and the way he processes emotion is common place. But oh well.
I was introduced to the show by Jonathon. I liked it but I think that Jonathon and I have very much different interpretations of the show based upon our lives. I see the whole serial-killer thing as less than secondary the main thrust of the show and why it is successful is because the character Dexter is going through the kinds of things that are completely normal for a guy: compartmentalization, trust issues, the emotions of women. Jonathon seems to focus on the alienation that Dexter feels as if it were something particular to a small set of special people: serial killers and other moody loners.
I don't think there is any way to convince him that aside from killing people Dexter is a completely normal person and the way he processes emotion is common place. But oh well.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
25 things
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I was not tagged to do this by anyone
2. I'm doing this instead of prepare for tonight's Bible Study
3. I am very arrogant and prideful and vain and am happy when people recognize this.
4. I get cold pretty easily and consider it horrible.
5. I keep the feet heater on in my car even in hot weather... I guess you could say I have a permanent case of cold feet.
6. I have only had one kissing girlfriend in my life and wish I hadn't had that many.
7. I do not consider myself shy.
8. I do consider myself judgmental.
9. I have coffee with my grandfather every Sunday morning.
10. I respect the idea of dogs more than cats but like/dislike animals on an individual basis.
11. I believe I am great with children.
12. I refuse to lose any argument with a child.
13. I freely admit to a child when I was wrong.
14. I defer to a child's parent authority regardless of what I think about their parenting abilities.
15. I do not like to cook for myself or others.
16. I probably eat very poorly.
17. I have never had more than five hundred dollars of credit card debt.
18. I am listening to the soundtrack to "Edward Scissorhands" right now.
19. I hate it when a text has a word underlined because of spelling errors. I especially hate it when it is a word that I am going to keep... like "scissorhands."
20. My sister is pregnant and when people ask me when she is due I can only shrug and guess something like three months.
21. I voted for President Obama and President Bush.
22. I wonder when Obama will no longer be underlined as a misspelled word.
23. I respect Jemuel more than anyone I have ever met... but do not want to be more like him!
24. I do not believe Jemuel will ever cease to be considered a misspelled word.
25. I will not tag anybody with this list.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I was not tagged to do this by anyone
2. I'm doing this instead of prepare for tonight's Bible Study
3. I am very arrogant and prideful and vain and am happy when people recognize this.
4. I get cold pretty easily and consider it horrible.
5. I keep the feet heater on in my car even in hot weather... I guess you could say I have a permanent case of cold feet.
6. I have only had one kissing girlfriend in my life and wish I hadn't had that many.
7. I do not consider myself shy.
8. I do consider myself judgmental.
9. I have coffee with my grandfather every Sunday morning.
10. I respect the idea of dogs more than cats but like/dislike animals on an individual basis.
11. I believe I am great with children.
12. I refuse to lose any argument with a child.
13. I freely admit to a child when I was wrong.
14. I defer to a child's parent authority regardless of what I think about their parenting abilities.
15. I do not like to cook for myself or others.
16. I probably eat very poorly.
17. I have never had more than five hundred dollars of credit card debt.
18. I am listening to the soundtrack to "Edward Scissorhands" right now.
19. I hate it when a text has a word underlined because of spelling errors. I especially hate it when it is a word that I am going to keep... like "scissorhands."
20. My sister is pregnant and when people ask me when she is due I can only shrug and guess something like three months.
21. I voted for President Obama and President Bush.
22. I wonder when Obama will no longer be underlined as a misspelled word.
23. I respect Jemuel more than anyone I have ever met... but do not want to be more like him!
24. I do not believe Jemuel will ever cease to be considered a misspelled word.
25. I will not tag anybody with this list.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Pres. Obama on Defense
President Obama has posted his position on all the big issues. In the following weeks I'm going to comment on his position. Check it out for yourself at www.whitehouse.gov but watch out my porn blocker won't let me go to www.whitehouse.com who knows what that means! who knows what that means.
Disclaimer I am very much a layman when it comes to military issues. I have values but not a whole lot of knowledge about the nuts and bolts of how it works. Here is what the President says:
President Obama and Vice President Biden will invest in a 21st century military to maintain our conventional advantage while increasing our capacity to defeat the threats of tomorrow. They will ensure our troops have the training, equipment and support that they need when they are deployed.
Invest in a 21st Century Military
meh... aside from funding what is the military asking for?
Expand to Meet Military Needs on the Ground:
I would support an increase of military population but are we talking about accountants/cooks/janitors/bureacrats necessary for the militray to function or actual fighting soliders.
Leadership from the Top:
I am in support of this.
Lighten the Burdens on Our Brave Troops and Their Families:
sounds nice
Build Defense Capabilities for the 21st Century
Fully Equip Our Troops for the Missions They Face:
okay
Review Weapons Programs:
I guess this is a nice way of saying that we will not be continuing n the Star Wars proggram.
Preserve Global Reach in the Air:
The Air Force gets the first nod. Meh, I'd give it to the fighting soliders which exist in all of the branches of the military.
Maintain Power Projection at Sea:
second nod to the navy.
National Missile Defense:
yeah they are cutting down missile defense
Ensure Freedom of Space:
yeah they are cutting star wars too
Protect the U.S in Cyberspace:
cool
Restore the Readiness of the National Guard and Reserves
Equip, Support, and Modernize the National Guard and Reserves: "They will make the head of the National Guard a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff..." that seems huge to me and will ruffle a lot of feathers but I think will help maintain our local military population.
Develop Whole of Government Initiatives to Promote Global Stability
Integrate Military and Civilian Efforts:
meh, I am sure someone in the field understands this better than me.
Create a Civilian Assistance Corps (CAC):
If this is a means to split the military into fighting troops and support personel (with different classification and benefits) I support it.
Restore Our Alliances
Engage Our Allies in Meeting Our Common Security Challenges:
that's nice... we'll see how it goes.
Organize to Help Our Partners and Allies in Need:
"win hearts and minds in the process"
okay sounds cool.
Reform Contracting
Create Transparency for Military Contractors:
meh
Restore Honesty, Openness, and Commonsense to Contracting and Procurement:
I've heard that no-bid contracting is bad... that is about it.
Disclaimer I am very much a layman when it comes to military issues. I have values but not a whole lot of knowledge about the nuts and bolts of how it works. Here is what the President says:
President Obama and Vice President Biden will invest in a 21st century military to maintain our conventional advantage while increasing our capacity to defeat the threats of tomorrow. They will ensure our troops have the training, equipment and support that they need when they are deployed.
Invest in a 21st Century Military
meh... aside from funding what is the military asking for?
Expand to Meet Military Needs on the Ground:
I would support an increase of military population but are we talking about accountants/cooks/janitors/bureacrats necessary for the militray to function or actual fighting soliders.
Leadership from the Top:
I am in support of this.
Lighten the Burdens on Our Brave Troops and Their Families:
sounds nice
Build Defense Capabilities for the 21st Century
Fully Equip Our Troops for the Missions They Face:
okay
Review Weapons Programs:
I guess this is a nice way of saying that we will not be continuing n the Star Wars proggram.
Preserve Global Reach in the Air:
The Air Force gets the first nod. Meh, I'd give it to the fighting soliders which exist in all of the branches of the military.
Maintain Power Projection at Sea:
second nod to the navy.
National Missile Defense:
yeah they are cutting down missile defense
Ensure Freedom of Space:
yeah they are cutting star wars too
Protect the U.S in Cyberspace:
cool
Restore the Readiness of the National Guard and Reserves
Equip, Support, and Modernize the National Guard and Reserves: "They will make the head of the National Guard a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff..." that seems huge to me and will ruffle a lot of feathers but I think will help maintain our local military population.
Develop Whole of Government Initiatives to Promote Global Stability
Integrate Military and Civilian Efforts:
meh, I am sure someone in the field understands this better than me.
Create a Civilian Assistance Corps (CAC):
If this is a means to split the military into fighting troops and support personel (with different classification and benefits) I support it.
Restore Our Alliances
Engage Our Allies in Meeting Our Common Security Challenges:
that's nice... we'll see how it goes.
Organize to Help Our Partners and Allies in Need:
"win hearts and minds in the process"
okay sounds cool.
Reform Contracting
Create Transparency for Military Contractors:
meh
Restore Honesty, Openness, and Commonsense to Contracting and Procurement:
I've heard that no-bid contracting is bad... that is about it.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
President Obama on Civil Rights
President Obama has posted his position on all the big issues. In the following weeks I'm going to comment on his position. Check it out for yourself at www.whitehouse.gov but watch out my porn blocker won't let me go to www.whitehouse.com who knows what that means!
CIVIL RIGHTS
President Barack Obama has spent much of his career fighting to strengthen civil rights as a civil rights attorney, community organizer, Illinois State Senator, U.S. Senator, and now as President. Whether promoting economic opportunity, working to improve our nation's education and health system, or protecting the right to vote, President Obama has been a powerful advocate for our civil rights.
* Combat Employment Discrimination:
I am in favor.
* Expand Hate Crimes Statutes:
I am in favor with reservations.
* End Deceptive Voting Practices:
I am strongly in favor.
* End Racial Profiling:
I am strongly in favor though I recognize this will make law enforcement more difficult. But better a hundred criminals go free than one innocent be punished. If you disagree I suggest you volunteer to be the innocent who is punished.
* Reduce Crime Recidivism by Providing Ex-Offender Support:
I strongly support.
* Eliminate Sentencing Disparities: President Obama and Vice President Biden believe the disparity between sentencing crack and powder-based cocaine is wrong and should be completely eliminated.
I left the text on this one because the title does not suggest the text.
I am in favor, though believe that the classification of sentencing belongs to the judicial and legislative branch. The executive branch enforces the law; it does not write it.
* Expand Use of Drug Courts:
I am strongly in favor.
Support for the LGBT Community
* Expand Hate Crimes Statutes:
I am in favor though with reservations.
* Fight Workplace Discrimination:
I am in favor.
* Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples:
I am neutral.
* Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage:
I am not in favor with this position but without great interest.
* Repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell:
I am not an expert on the specifics of this law but in general believe that this issue ought to be deferred to military personnel rather than civilian politicians.
Therefore I oppose this issue.
* Expand Adoption Rights:
Breaking with social conservatives I oppose a ban on gay adoption. We are all sinners and there is no reason that this one particular sin ought the be given extra weight in determining worthiness to parent. I wouldn't oppose allowing it to carry some weight but to be an absolute bar is unmerited.
Therefore I am in favor.
* Promote AIDS Prevention:
* Empower Women to Prevent HIV/AIDS:
In the last ten years this issue seems to be less and less a LGBT issue, but of course I support government action to prevent the spread of a deadly disease.
CIVIL RIGHTS
President Barack Obama has spent much of his career fighting to strengthen civil rights as a civil rights attorney, community organizer, Illinois State Senator, U.S. Senator, and now as President. Whether promoting economic opportunity, working to improve our nation's education and health system, or protecting the right to vote, President Obama has been a powerful advocate for our civil rights.
* Combat Employment Discrimination:
I am in favor.
* Expand Hate Crimes Statutes:
I am in favor with reservations.
* End Deceptive Voting Practices:
I am strongly in favor.
* End Racial Profiling:
I am strongly in favor though I recognize this will make law enforcement more difficult. But better a hundred criminals go free than one innocent be punished. If you disagree I suggest you volunteer to be the innocent who is punished.
* Reduce Crime Recidivism by Providing Ex-Offender Support:
I strongly support.
* Eliminate Sentencing Disparities: President Obama and Vice President Biden believe the disparity between sentencing crack and powder-based cocaine is wrong and should be completely eliminated.
I left the text on this one because the title does not suggest the text.
I am in favor, though believe that the classification of sentencing belongs to the judicial and legislative branch. The executive branch enforces the law; it does not write it.
* Expand Use of Drug Courts:
I am strongly in favor.
Support for the LGBT Community
* Expand Hate Crimes Statutes:
I am in favor though with reservations.
* Fight Workplace Discrimination:
I am in favor.
* Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples:
I am neutral.
* Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage:
I am not in favor with this position but without great interest.
* Repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell:
I am not an expert on the specifics of this law but in general believe that this issue ought to be deferred to military personnel rather than civilian politicians.
Therefore I oppose this issue.
* Expand Adoption Rights:
Breaking with social conservatives I oppose a ban on gay adoption. We are all sinners and there is no reason that this one particular sin ought the be given extra weight in determining worthiness to parent. I wouldn't oppose allowing it to carry some weight but to be an absolute bar is unmerited.
Therefore I am in favor.
* Promote AIDS Prevention:
* Empower Women to Prevent HIV/AIDS:
In the last ten years this issue seems to be less and less a LGBT issue, but of course I support government action to prevent the spread of a deadly disease.
On the Internet Again
I love getting my responses on the internet! This was posted on ESPN.com from the AFC West mail bag asking if the Chiefs should fire Edwards:
Michael Gardner from Fremont, CA: As a Raiders fan I am fortunate to have a good friend who is a Chiefs fan. Seeing Edwards performance from his perspective I see enough positives to wish my team had that much light at the end of the tunnel... and I have seen enough negatives to know he wouldn't have lasted this long in Oakland. It seems a good rule of thumb to ask "What would Al Davis do?" and then do the opposite. Of course, that puts me in a contradiction because Al Davis would have fired Al Davis a long time ago
Michael Gardner from Fremont, CA: As a Raiders fan I am fortunate to have a good friend who is a Chiefs fan. Seeing Edwards performance from his perspective I see enough positives to wish my team had that much light at the end of the tunnel... and I have seen enough negatives to know he wouldn't have lasted this long in Oakland. It seems a good rule of thumb to ask "What would Al Davis do?" and then do the opposite. Of course, that puts me in a contradiction because Al Davis would have fired Al Davis a long time ago
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