Practicing What I Preach

In my Bible study of 1 John I point out that the word practice has two popular uses: 1) to do something "I practice law" 2) to do something with the intention of doing it better. This post is referring to the second kind of practice. I am trying to get better at doing the kind of annoying advice I give to most complainers, in particular the kind of complaints directed against other people.

I insist that the offended person look at the issue from the perspective of the other person, give them the best possible motivations, practice sympathy rather than judgment, etc.

So I was recently slighted by some people in a not very important way but it still hurt my feelings. The strict interpretation of my constant advice is to train my thoughts against imagining their dislike of me. It is all too natural for me to start thinking "They don't like me... I don't fit in... I am an outsider." [I am aware of the "embrace the solitude" individualist perspective and reject it as inhuman]. My advice would be to train your thoughts against the negative interpretation of their actions and focus on the best interest of others. But that is not happening...

So I practice what I preach. I might not win this fight or it might take months to convince myself that these people do not dislike me or if they do that it a mistake on their part, or something like that. Until then the best I can do is practice at it. I have been disliked before, fairly and unfairly and there have been times with increased time together I have made new friends and earned respect (this happens a lot at work where my offensive nature sometimes gets the first impression). and it is possible that a person can get to know me and still think little of me and that is something I have been okay about (I have never been bothered by those who dislike my attitudes toward money).

So I guess what I practice at this point is 1) not dwelling on the hurt/offense 2) not striking out at others because of it. It is a mental battle which I might sometimes lose but that is why I want all the more to practice what I preach. It is better to try to live in peace with others and mess up then to separate from any who offend (anyone can) or not even try to live in peace.

btw sometimes separation is the best path but even then the hope is for some future re-connection and this particular case is nothing so drastic. That is a sort of nuclear option.