diet and exercise

So about last January I joined a gym. I'd been "thinking about" exercise for a super long time but in general I considered my motivations clouded by vanity and pride. I was sort of concerned about my long term health but that thought was always over shadowed by this impulse to be sexy. I am pretty sure if I were considered unbelievably attractive to women I wouldn't do much with it because with some believably good looks, a degree of charm and a certain kind of confidence I still do not have sharp teeth, so to speak. It is kind of like why I am not tempted by fast cars; my Honda is fast enough and if anything I ought to be slowing down. But that generally held personality did not prevent all kinds of static like influences. I still am partly a product of main stream America so there is an ingrained thought "muscle, sexy, good."

So I never joined a gym or worked out.

But Nate did. So when he kept doing it and invited me it felt more like a way to connect with a buddy and get healthy and it was an inexpensive gym (huge factor).

So I worked out with Nate and sometimes Jesse and Adam Richman.

To best summarize the positive change is described late on most Sunday nights. I will be driving back to Fremont taking Bev back to her Dad's house from Oakland. She invariably passes out. I would pick her up and carry her inside. Before hand I would think "Pretty soon Bev will be too old for me to do this." But I hadn't given her a ride home in a while after working out and the first time I lifted her it was amazing. That was after just a month.

What I have found that an increased real and perceived strength also increases my sense of manhood. Granted masculinity is a troubled concept, either in short supply or else exaggerated to peversity, but I have found in my walk with God that it is something which is a part of His creation. Manhood is something shaped by social construction but it is also a real thing, with a Godly purpose.

Now increasing and strengthening this virtue does have dangers... just like increasing education or horse-power has dangers. I am depending on the Holy Spirit and good friends that my interest in growing stronger does not ever exceed my interest in becoming holy.